Thursday, January 21

Exploring the planet “Venus”

If ever there was a question; ”How much do you understand about women?” I believe, perhaps, solving a rocket science equation will be much easier.

Women. Don’t you love them and hate them. Maybe it’s because we men are from Mars and they woman, are from Venus, therefore, it is deemed natural that we do not understand them well at all.

Remember the times when you instinctively knew that your girl hinted at you for something she really wanted but when you prodded her about it, “nothing”. Nothing. That is the number 1 common answer that they will reply with and normally, it comes with a really pissed-off expression coupled with rolling eyes and both arms crossed.

That’s true, guys. Most of us do not understand women at all. (If you hear a popping sound, that's probably your ego bursting and I suggest you turn away now.)

The number 1 enemy for us guys is actually our ego. If you recognise it, then we welcome you with arms wide open and let's proceed on together.

Throughout history, the debate and the confusion that men had in the areas of the opposite gender are as complicated as distinguishing an alligator from a crocodile. Many have already given up, leaving it to destiny and alcohol for answers.




My dear friends, the very action of you staying on to read this post and your subsequent commitment to follow this blog, quite similar to your pursuit of naked Jessica Alba pictures, will be the key to greener pastures. Like the old folks say, “Words whisper, actions scream.” Continue reading this blog and soon, you will be opening your canvas in life where the likes of Michelangelo will start painting on you , just like the ones in the Sistine chapel.

Before we venture forth, let me relate to you a story. I was having a conversation with my female friend on a random day. Apparently, there was this guy in her office that was interested in her romantically and upon hearing news that she was sick, he went out of his way, did his research, travelled far and wide to get her, in his perspective, an elixir and left it on her table. His mind must be thinking, “When she catches sight of this medication, she will be falling head over heels for me.”

As she approached the table and saw the "elixir", she asked, “Who gave this to me?"

“Me,” the suitor replied.

"Erm…, I don’t need it,” she answered.

“Take it, I travelled to...blah,blah,blah," he gleefully responded. (This reply is, in fact another disguised form of begging. When a lady rejects an offer, a real gentleman accepts it as they never disrespect the woman's decision.)

The above scenario ended with her accepting the medicine out of her good-natured character. However, he failed in his pursuit.

Reason being, he made her feel uncomfortable.

They had not even gone out on dates together and he is already making her uneasy. Gentlemen, what are his chances from then on? I believed that from that moment on, Saddam Hussein's odds of regaining back his throne will be even more promising than his chances. (Ed's note: Which is none because he's dead)

In fact, when she confided with me, she said, “What gives him the right to do that? Does he assume that I am a 10 year-old-kid who knows nuts on personal health management.”

Yes, guys, this is the actual, factual, non-fiction, real, solid response she gave.

If you're thinking that this girl is a jerk, hold on to your horses. Have a mini recollection on what was the success rate whenever you went out of your way to surprise a girl? 1 percent? The 1 percent chance you had were actually the girls who dug you when dinosaurs still roamed the earth. Both of you had chemistry together, so the actions you took appeared sweet to them. On the contrary, if they do not dig you and you come to them with all this DRASTIC action, you will be labeled a DESPERATE.

A gentleman never requires approval and attention. They are good. Women love a gentleman. Period.

It’s no longer the survival of the fittest. It’s the survival of the slickest. Don't rush into anything drastic when you have not ascertained her interest level in you first. Wait. Patience is a virtue and for once, listen to your mum.

The truth is that the so called aggressiveness and go-getter attitude that we apply into achieving stuff like a higher position in the company or better grades academically, don’t work on girls. A gentleman is never overbearing towards women, be it physically or emotionally. The most is that they suggest. A gentleman never presses for an answer. Only Hilter presses.

4 things that make a man -

  • Confidence

  • Self-control

  • Class

  • Humour

  • These, my friend, will turn you into a broom stick. Guys, we are here to sweep woman off their feet, not be hunters and chase them around. Worst still, some guys simply cling onto girls as if they are a koala bear hugging on to his favourite tree. They are simply put desperate.

    Gentlemen, we want them in our arms, not running away from us.

    With much complaining done, I am going to introduce the first law to you.

    “The female interest level cuts everything.”

    I don't have to talk about your interest level because if you are interested, you will be talking about her all the time. However, it is her interest level in you that is of paramount importance. This being, when a woman is interested in you, they make things easy for you. They will laugh at every single corny joke you make and they will reply, "Oh it's ok" for every mistake you make. Taking my story, if my female friend had the hots for her colleague, then she would relate to me, saying, ”Gee, he is such a nice and attentive guy.”

    Gentlemen, the female interest level in you cuts everything. If she is interested in you, it's like having a 100m sprint competition with a 3-year-old old kid. It makes perfect sense then that your job is to identify her interest level in you first even before you secretly spy on her Facebook. This will save you time, money and your sanity level.

    This is it for an introduction. There will be certain concepts and rules that we will require you to internalise as we introduce them over the coming weeks. Till then.

    Men, we are here so that you will become Steve Irwin. From now on, no alligators can disguise itself as a crocodile.



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