Monday, January 18

The tao (道) of dry jeans

Ever wondered what is the difference between a condom and a good pair of jeans? The jeans not only offers you protection, it further amplifies your sex appeal (: Now does that ever happen when you put on a condom? A pair of dry jeans is not just an ordinary pair of jeans. It is much more than that. It's a personification of the owner. A pair of dry/raw jeans is an embodiment of what the wearer and his/her sexy ass have been through. Without further ado, let me introduce you to the tao of dry denim and pray that this guide has not come too late for those who has yet to discover the wonder of dry jeans.

Terminology of denim:

Dry/raw denim

Denim fabric that is not washed after production. Denim will gradually fade, providing desirable effects. It is environmental friendly, as it is not artificially treated to create creases and fades. Why pay more to pollute the earth when you can create 100%, man-made and natural fades and creases on your denim?
indigo: the living colour (note the difference in the original colour versus the jeans after one year of frequent wear).

Selvage denim
"type of denim which forms a clean natural edge that does not unravel. selvage is desirable because the edge cannot fray. shuttle looming is a more time-consuming weaving process that produces denim of a tighter weave resulting in a heavier weight fabric that lasts." - Wikipedia

In short: "selvage = more expensive, but ownage - desmond


Measured in oz. The heavier the denim means the more wear and tear you can take while wearing it to bring out unique characteristics of your jeans. Heavier oz tends to crease lesser though, and you might feel stuffy and less comfy in them (initially), but it will soon feel like a second skin after some time (:<


Ah, the wonderful marks of nature as you bend/squat/do crunches/swim in the sea/learn muay thai in your jeans. These lovely creases will gradually appear somehow, just be patient (or use more starch).


"Sanforized" is not a type of rice. It means that the jeans you own has a shrink-proof value of under 1%, and will not shrink much after wash. Good stuff.

After all these basic terms, all you need to start is to first get a pair of dry jeans to break into! Some important things to note:
  • Dry denim is prone to stretch. For a good fit, try it on. If it fits nicely, get 1-2 sizes down in order for it to fit you nicely when it's stretched out
  • Denim size is not equivalent to the circumference of your waist opening. (e.g. size 30 is not equal to 30 inches) Know your size well before buying a pair.
  • Recommended period of time you should spend intimately with your jeans before the 1st wash = 6 months. This is to create a more distinct and beautiful fade. Washing any earlier will cause the colour to bleed during the washing period and "average" out the tone of the jeans, which is not good.
  • Hand-washing is the best way to shower your "2nd skin" with tender loving care. Wash with cold water if your do not want your jeans to fade too much. It's best to send it to the dry-cleaners for the 1st wash.
  • Air your jeans whenever possible. Sun your jeans frequently when not in use if you do not wish for your jeans to be a bacteria factory. Febreze is your best friend!

Denim, like men and fine wine, develops more character and age well. In time, wear and tear will create holes in it. That's perfectly fine, as it allows your sexiness to ooze out from these holes. Ladies will desire (trust me, it happens) to poke you through those holes that are located in naughty positions ;)

Note: If you do not wish to be taken advantage of, you may send your lovely jeans to the tailor for patching.

For those of you who have been enlightened but have yet to experience the wonders of dry jeans, professional help is just a sms away! My friend, make an appointment with Desmond at nine152338six for some nice yet affordable dry denim and be prepared to experience the world from a whole new perspective. Now go forth and channel the sexy denim god from within you!



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