Friday, February 5

Conversational Jujitsu - Part Deux

"Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative." - Oscar Wilde

Coffee cup in hand, you stride up to that fetching young lady by the window, introduce yourself and proceed to strike up an enchanting conversation, buoyed by the friendly advice given to you by the good people over at sixguysataprataplace.

Her laughter fills the air of the coffee place and she's clearly enjoying herself. She leans over, stars in her eyes, enthralled by your charm and wit. The way forward after your brilliant opening is a delicate balance of skill and finesse. Today we go into the middle.


It's been a pretty interesting chat and you're starting to wonder how that dress of hers would look like on your bedroom floor. Before we broach that topic, remember that you should never approach a lady with an objective in mind. That includes seeing her in various states of undress. Women have an innate bullshit meter that can sense all your hidden agendas and unsavory thoughts.

Then, how do you go about from being an interesting stranger to someone who occupies her waking mind and permeates her dreams? That is when your performance in the middle plays an important role.

Readers familiar with the Mystery Method would have heard of the term negging. For the uninitiated, negging is a way of putting the woman down without being rude, a sort of a backhanded compliment if you like. For example:

"That's cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh."

I've never been a fan of negging. Instead, I advocate the opposite. Compliments. Avoid insincere compliments as well as compliments that women generally get. Stuff like:

"You're pretty."

Well duh. Pretty women get told they're pretty very often. You're just another bland, generic man who approached her to tell her the exact same thing that every other man has done in the past. You're forgetting guideline number two.


Compliment her on her dressing, her smile, the way her hair falls on her shoulders, her quirky smiley earrings or how she bites her lips whenever she tears the sugar sachets to pour into her coffee. The devil is in the details.

Many men have fall into the dreaded trap of the friendzone, a cold, dark abyss of rejection and despair. Traversing through the hidden pitfalls is tricky without a proper navigation guide.

You have to plant an image in her mind of the possibility of you two being more than just friends. Banter with her about something that ticks you off that puts divorce on the cards.

"Oh man. You put the toilet seat up? I can't stand that. That's it, I'm calling my lawyer. You can keep the dog, I want the television."

She laughs. You laugh. The seed has been planted.

Kino. That's the PUA term for touch. Engage in kino. Hold her hands while you're reading her palms or point to her bracelet that she's wearing and ask to examine it before putting it on back for her. Touching excites her senses, especially if she's already having a good time talking to you. Now, all her senses are being engaged.

That's it for the middle. There are no waypoints for you, just certain general concepts that are easy to grasp. Go forth and practise.



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