Sunday, May 2

You may have questions. We may have answers. So just drop us your queries/story/situation by mail or any other way you can think of.

The following was sent to us by someone who goes by the name of Lyrad.

He sent us a telegram which was fine. Except the telegraph machine was attached to a poor pigeon and flown to us.



note: Certain parts of the post have been edited for clarity but the meaning of the post has been left untarnished.

We are like the "hi-bye" kind of friends. But soon we started chatting online everyday and i found out that she just broke off from a long relationship. Slowly we started talking on phone. i know she has many suitors. She told me about this guy who has been chasing her since Junior College days and they are very close friends but they were not together and she has never considered him. But she would always tell me what this guy would do chase her. eg. flowers for her, wait for her beneath her block, bla bla bla.

I remember there was once, she went out with this guy for dinner at a nearby mall at her place and the guy wouldn't let her go home. She then sms me and ask me what she should do so i told her if u need me to be there, i will go. initially she hesitated, after that she asked me to go look for her and to come quickly. From my university to her place, it will take me around 45mins. When i was halfway there, she told me 'never mind already', because the guy is walking her back. Since i'm already on my way, i decided to still go over to her place.

After like a month or so, i decided to confess to her. But she told "i'm not ready for a relationship YET." So, i take it as a half half situation, and continued putting in effort in chasing her. we went out a couple of times and soon people see that we were close but not in a relationship. Only her best friend knows about our situation. After another few months, i asked her again, but i still get the same response. So i took it as i needed to put in even more effort on this

We started chatting on phone everyday until the wee hours, we would go out together and sometimes with her friends. Then came along this guy, her primary school friend, who I don't know popped up from where. He started talking to her and confessed to her. After this guy came along, her time is shared between us between me and the guy. I was struggling with my school work at that time and the guy, because he has to go for an exchange, is quite free so he was able to wait and pick up the girl almost everyday after work. But soon the guy had to leave for his exchange, then the girl asked me to send her to airport because she wants to see her friend off. Although i was damn [profanity removed] with the idea of doing this, I still sent her to the airport because i felt that like that was a gentleman thing to do.

But when we reached the airport, she asked me to stay in the car!!! I told her if you want me to stay in the car, i will leave because it's just so stupid! Here i am, sending you to see my rival and you still ask me to stay in the [profanity removed] car and wait.


At this point of time, all we received from the telegram machine was an influx of high voltage electric signals. We assume Lyrad meant, "Yours sincerely, Lyrad"


Dear Lyrad,

BASED ON YOUR CONVERSATION.

"She has many suitors."
All pretty girls do. Based on your observations, all of the suitors buy her flowers, send her home, cut her toenails, etc. You chase her and I'm assuming you do the same affectionate behaviors as well. That is mistake no. 1.

We call this product differentiation in advertising. Or just pretty much, what's so different about you that she cannot get from the rest of the other men?

Attention? She has that by the bucketloads.
Gifts? She throws away the flowers and gives the wrapping paper to Pulau Senoko.
Suitors? One address book full of them I assume.

You’re following in the same footsteps as his predecessors, the path of the dreaded Friend Zone.

"I'm not ready for a relationship YET."
Yet, you continued to chase her. This is mistake no. 2.

If we were faced with the exact same situation, we would have said something like this, "No one ever is. It's whether you want to take the first leap and jump and take a shot at happiness and sadness and everything else in between. Or we can just stay as what we are. I don't want to stay as what we are."

You have to be prepared to lose her. Let her mull over what could have been. Utilise the cat string theory, so to speak.

"Although I damn [profanity removed] with the idea of doing this, i still send her to airport because I feel that like that was a gentleman thing to do."

Mistake no. 3. You’re equating being at her beck and call as being a gentleman. That is really, really not the case. You are not her boyfriend. So don't behave like you are one.

You have to be the fun guy, someone who has something unexpected every single time she goes out with you. Her heart races and she becomes excited when she knows she's going out with him because she knows something good always happens. And of course, treat her with respect.

Be firm but respectful. Be interesting and fun to be with. Engage in activities outside the norm, like cable skiing. Be her escape from reality, so much so that she wants you to be her reality. Take a serious look at yourself and think, “Do I want to date myself?”

We have been told you’re currently in the pursuit of another dame and it feels like the same one as before. Perhaps because you are trying the same old tricks? Ditch the movie and dinner date. Read up Attraction 101 on our blog. That is the foundation to attraction and start working on your weak points. Every women is different but the template is still the same.

Improve yourself and you’ll be amazed at the results. Good luck.

sixguys

1 comments:

spudsrus said...

hell... with regards to this:
(quote)
"Although I damn [profanity removed] with the idea of doing this, i still send her to airport because I feel that like that was a gentleman thing to do."

Mistake no. 3. You’re equating being at her beck and call as being a gentleman. That is really, really not the case. You are not her boyfriend. So don't behave like you are one.
(end quote)

even if i was her boyfriend... i won't be doing it either!

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