Wednesday, May 5

Conversational Jujitsu: Redux Two

The Conversational Jujitsu series had stirred up a metaphorical hornet's nest among our readers that we deigned it prudent to present the views of two women on the subject.

You can read about it here.

For those of you who missed out on the Conversational Jujitsu trilogy, click the link below to read it in its full glory.

Conversational Jujitsu: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.

Another group of ladies, another two of them to be exact, wrote in to us as well about their take on Conversational Jujitsu.

note: Certain parts of the post have been edited for clarity but the meaning of the post has been left untarnished.

With the increasing demands for women's rights over the years, modern day society has established itself as one where the title of "woman" reigns gloriously in her own power, where many a housewife have traded in their homemade apple pies and soiled aprons for business deals and crisp corporate suits. Young girls grow up bombarded by the notion of female empowerment through a multitude of different mass media forms, ranging from education to songs on the radio.

As such, for all the 5 "C"s which one might have believed to be the makings of every lady's ideal gentleman have now been subverted such that it has become the makings of every lady's ideal lady (of which I speak of in general). Independent and headstrong, the 21st century woman is able to determine the importance and usefulness of various aspects of her life to her, and whether it would impede or benefit her in the long term goals she has set for herself (though this definitely does not take retail therapy into account). Her life is a computer with infinite gigabyte hard disk space, categorised into different folders and files, of which she does disk cleanup frequently to get rid of the unnecessary which no longer command/deserve attention from the Motherboard. Pardon the pun.

Result? I believe the phrase, "Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn", is tell tale enough of a woman's might.

Intimidated by the gender stereotype role reversal, many males suffer the fate of being heartlessly deleted off hard disk space.

And now back to point.

Behind all that complication of a name, my personal take on conversational jujitsu is that rather than it being a guide on how to successfully interact with the opposite sex if they have always rendered you stuttering and incoherent, it teaches you how to be more of a human to another human. No pretense, no ulterior motives or agendas, no innate conscious reminders of the switch of the conventional roles of women and men in society, just simple connection and conversation between two human beings. (Though I do find "jujitsu" to be ironic - don't ninjas do things in stealth?)

And how do you know that CJ works? When you find yourself enjoying smooth, flowing conversation, and that your brain is so attune with conversing that all the conventional methods and rules to "deal" with the opposite gender - and even all that sixguys purports in CJ – has gone out of the window.

Conversational jujitsu is not a guidebook. It is a way of life. As cheesy as it sounds.

Charlotte Perkins Gilman's Herland would be the perfect round up to my thoughts - more so of a humanistic approach to interaction, rather than one where interaction is determined by gender convention.

Anyhow, just my two cents.

Firstly, I would like to express my personal relief and gratitude for the existence of these six guys (I should probably credit the prata place as well), some of who I know personally, for they make up the few good ones left standing amongst the male population of today.

Coming from someone who has dated some of the emptiest-headed men in this country (overstatement I know but you get the gist), I cannot emphasize how important a good conversation is, especially when making the first impression. Of course when you see a girl you are attracted to, you probably wouldn’t come to think about your opening, middle and closing. On that note, a good opening would be key to the attention required from her as you proceed so making that a priority would be wise.

This brings us to part deux, where negging and compliments are said to be a good start. I personally enjoy the negging. I receive it as a compliment but at the same time I am suddenly wary of myself; how I’m sitting or standing or if I’m smiling too much etc. Suddenly, I feel a need to actually impress him. The rapport is usually established at this point which is great! It is important that he is confident enough to pull it off though, having sat through some futile attempts which I end up dismissing almost immediately. A spot on first impression usually leads to a smooth journey ahead and females (most I know) are not very hard to catch on the first try, we just pretend to be (a nicer way of saying we’re in denial). Most females love the feeling of being approached, at least I do, so half the battle is won even before you say hello.

The tricky part would probably the kino; how to do it and how to pull it off and I leave it to sixguys to help you out with that one. Some kino I’ve encountered that worked like a charm; the hand-around-the-waist gesture when seating her down at a restaurant before yourself or ushering her down the stairs before you do. So classy! As well as the you-think-you-saw-a-speck-of-dust-in-her-hair move which embarrassingly worked for me. Heh.

I think the ultimate hurdle is getting through the attached ones or the ones faking the existence of a boyfriend. I think all of my kind has to admit we use that ‘oh I’m attached sorry’ move to shun away most of the pest-like men approaching us. Then again I feel sixguys abide by the Alex Hitchens more so than the Neil Strauss hypothesis. Hmm conversational jujitsu part four gentlemen? Just a thought.

Be it for personal victory counts or to find true love in your life, I am pretty sure your long term advisor is just a click away right here at sixguysataprataplace, best part is they don’t take payments!

(Ed's note: I swear we did not make any form of payment, monetary or otherwise for this plug)

Where else can you get such sincere consultation on not just women but L4D2 tactics and historical events that shape our world today! Too good to be true, I say.

More importantly I share with you my mantra. Believe in what you are about to do, then even if it’s false it becomes the truth. I actually got that from an espionage reality show. Oh and of course, R. Kelly. ‘I believe I can flyyyyy’

grace x siti

notes: If you enjoyed this post, you might enjoy reading the Attraction 101 trilogy.

Attraction 101: Part One, Part Two & Part Three

You can follow us on Twitter @sixguysofficial to express your undying love and gratitude. Or just to inundate us with spam.


Six Guys At A Prata Place said...

Dear Grace,

Allow me to explain why the term Conversational Jujitsu was coined.

We first take a look at jujitsu and we'll see the similarities.

Brazilian Jujitsu (Nope, not ninjas. That's ninjitsu!) permits a wide variety of techniques to take the fight to the ground after taking a grip. (Think of this as an opener, a conversational starter to get the ball rolling.)

Once the opponent is on the ground, a number of maneuvers (and counter-maneuvers) are available to manipulate the opponent into a suitable position for the application of a submission technique. (Said 'maneuvers' can refer to techniques like negging, complimenting and kino. We call it the 'middle'.)

A submission hold is the equivalent of checkmate in the sport. However, it is possible for a combat situation to continue even after a proper submission is performed. (Viola, we move into the 'submission', which we call it the 'closing' where we look out for IOIs and seal the deal, or no deal.)

*slaps hands by sides*
*Bows and steps backwards*

But all in all, I do agree that CJ is a way of life. To be used and applied between two human beings, exchanging words and emotions.

-Cheers, zw

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