Wednesday, May 26

Transitions Trilogy: Meet & Approach

Before the time of social networking and fast food, our fathers went out to meet women in the strangest places, wrote extensive love letters to them and courted them during warm nights with a picnic basket and their charm.

Life became faster and many a man have lamented about the difficulty of meeting women, claiming little time and even lesser opportunities. Well, you can pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars and hope for fate to land your dream woman in your lap but most of the time, fate needs a little pushing and prodding from you coupled with a lot of encouragement.

So, where can you give fate a guiding hand? There are many places you can meet interesting and attractive women, ranging from bookstores to your neighborhood kopitiam. This is a guide on where you can meet women and how to approach them.

The Bookstore

Ah, the start of many relationships where eyes meet and lock over the smell of freshly-printed paperbacks and furtive glances exchanged at the magazine rack. The bookstore is a great place to meet women of all kinds, from the young college student looking for a cosy place to curl up and read to that classy office lady searching for an escape from reality.

The most convenient way for you to initiate conversation with that particularly fetching lady by the fiction corner is through what Juggler calls a floppsy.

A floppsy is taking advantage of a situation that presents itself. For example, when that lady reaches out to grab a book, you casually say, "I wouldn't take that if I were you" or something to that effect. Conversational jujitsu fundamentals come in great here.

Floppsies can occur in any time and place with any person. Think fast on your feet, be confident and just throw it out there.

The Club
Different venues come with it different levels of expectations. In a bookstore, most women are not primed and ready to get approached and hit on. However, in a club, most women expect men to come over and talk to them. This causes most ladies in a club to put up a defense shield and have an instant rejection line whenever a guy approaches them.

Meeting and approaching women in a club is a whole different beast altogether. Many different levels of social levels come into play. Firstly, I would recommend going to a club with a group of people that includes a few women friends. They act as social proof and indicates to everyone else that you are not a weirdo looking out for young prey.

Secondly, I suggest either getting to know the people who owns or runs the place. Besides being able to get a couple of drinks free and perhaps a table to sit down at, it looks really good when you interact with the staff there as it again acts as social proof, the alpha male so to speak.

A few things to avoid-

1. When you head out to the dancefloor, do not stand there like most other men and look around the whole floor, hunting for young women to sneak up on and grind their buttocks for a few seconds before they turn around and either push you away or move away from your crotch.

2. Stand around with a drink in hand and scowl or sulk your way through the night. Remember, fate needs a guiding hand.

Things to do-
HAVE FUN! You're there to let your hair loose and party the night away. Dance, smile and move your way around. Dance with the men and smile with the women. When you're having fun, people notice it and pay attention.

When you see a woman smiling back at you, you have approximately 3 seconds to initiate some kind of interaction before she will look away. Normally, a pointed finger at her and a come hither gesture with your index finger will elicit some kind of reaction, either a laugh, a shake of the head with a smile or an approach.

If she shakes her head but laughs, take one step closer to her and do the finger gesture again. Normally, she obliges. You hold out your hand. She grabs it. You give her a twirl. She laughs. Your night is set.

These 2 scenarios were laid out for a specific reason; one is a speaking environment where conversation is essential while the second one is a loud, noisy place which makes conversation hard, if not impossible. However, the elements present are generally the same.

In the next part of the trilogy, we'll discuss transitioning from the approach to setting expectations.



If you liked this post, you might enjoy the Conversational Jujitsu trilogy and the Attraction 101 trilogy, all valuable components that help you with this post.

Conversational Jujitsu: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
Attraction 101: Part One, Part Two and Part Three

Just to throw it out there but sixguys, or perhaps only me, have been entertaining the idea of holding free field workshops for shits and giggles. The main purpose is to have fun and shoot the moon but also to demonstrate that we really preach what we advocate. It's just an idea in progress, or actually more of an idea in incubation but it would be really great to know what all of you think. Let us know!


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